


the no-baby-stick

by cryingaggressively



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-28 17:59:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14454726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryingaggressively/pseuds/cryingaggressively
Summary: "You think the prevalent contraception method in the Enchanted Forest is pulling out?"Killian was laughing at her. She didn't particularly care for it."How am I supposed to know? There isn't even running water there!" Emma told him defensively, crossing her arms.





	the no-baby-stick

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys!  
> This was supposed to be a quick bit about them discussing contraception before sex, but it kind of escalated.  
> This is partly set in the quiet six weeks after Gold is banished from town, partly in late season 4 and partly between season 6 and 7.  
> Hope you enjoy!

 

In hindsight, Emma didn't know what she'd expected.

 

"You think the prevalent contraception method in the Enchanted Forest is pulling out?"

Killian was laughing at her. She didn't particularly care for it.

"How am I supposed to know? There isn't even running water there!" Emma told him defensively, crossing her arms.

Sadly, it didn't help the situation. Killian was still incredulous. "Aye – but magic _everywhere._ "

"So what, women get their lady parts charmed? No? What it is?"

It sounded like Killian was in serious danger of choking on thin air, laughing hysterically as he was.

Annoyed, Emma clicked her tongue and turned on her feet, ready to leave the room. Did she treat him like that when he didn't know the most basic things in Storybrooke? When he couldn't get a fricking microwave to work, or change a radio channel?

A hand wrapped around her wrist, holding her back gently. She avoided looking at his face, knowing it would instantly mollify her.

"Don't leave, Swan. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make fun of you," he apologized sincerely. His index finger brushed over the pulse in her wrist. Her anger melted away, but he didn't need to know it just yet.

Doing her best to look exasperated, she turned around and sighed at him. "Fine. I guess."

Killian smiled at her and kissed her cheek, then turned to whisper in her ear, his nose skimming her cheek. "You know, love, I can tell you're not mad anymore."

Enjoying him nuzzling her, she fake-sighed again, obviously this time. "Well. You caught me, I guess. Whatever will you do to punish me?"

Next to her ear, Killian hummed thoughtfully, sending goose bumps down her back.

"We better finish the conversation we started before I tell you that, Swan," he murmured to her and kissed her neck softly. Emma's knees hit each other as she brought her thighs together.

Despite his words, he didn't stop lavishing her with his attentions. Emma moaned as he sucked on an especially sensitive spot and brought her hands up, one to card through his hair, the other clutching at his shoulder.

They continued for a few minutes, switching to kissing each other eventually. When she slid her leg between his, trying to rub against his growing erection, he let out a harsh breath and stopped kissing her, distancing their hips from each other.

"Well. At least we have something to look forward to," Emma said breathlessly, hoping the pounding in her chest would lessen soon. Killian just grinned at her and tried to bring his mussed hair back under control.

"So," Emma started, clearing her throat, "what did you use then?"

Killian sat down on the bed. "Potions. The more expensive ones worked against sexual diseases as well as conception," he explained.

Emma pondered that, taking a seat next to him. "And those potions, you had to take one every time you...?"

He inclined his head. "There were different ones. The affordable ones were effective for only a few hours, others you only had to ingest monthly. Good thing, too. They taste absolutely revolting."

"So it doesn't matter who drinks them? Men or women?"

Killian shook his head. "Generally, they worked on everyone." He paused for a short time. "But there were some for women that kept them from having their cycle, additionally."

Convenient. Also a bit like some things they had here.

"What's available here then, love?" he asked, interested.

"Well, I have a birth control implant," she explained, pulling the sleeve of her t-shirt up to show him the mark on her inner upper arm. He traced it, feeling the little hump on her skin.

"It's a little stick that releases hormones – that are like, the messenger substances bodies produce – that keep me from getting pregnant. It's about ninety-nine percent effective against pregnancy, but not against diseases and stuff."

Killian thankfully seemed to have understood her scrambled explanation, so she went on.

"There's lots of things that work like that; birth control pills, shots and patches, like a band-aid." She stopped again, checking if he needed more information, but he didn't seem fazed at the terms. Assuming he'd learnt about them in the hospital, she continued, deciding to skip the stuff that was irrelevant right now.

"And then there's condoms –" At that, Killian seemed to light up.

He leaned to his left, towards the bedside table, and pulled out a box of exactly those. He held them up, inspecting the packaging.

"Those? I found them in the drawer when I moved in here. Didn't think they had something to do with sex."

Emma nodded, relieved. This would be easier to explain with one on hand.

"Yeah, exactly. I forgot Granny stocked the rooms with them."

She took the box from him and opened it up. Ripping off one condom along the perforation, she awkwardly started to explain, "They're like gloves or ... sheaths? For your..."

She trailed off, feeling blood rush to her cheeks, and gestured towards his crotch, condom in hand. Killian couldn't contain a wide grin and she slapped a hand over her eyes. This was ridiculous. She was a grown woman, why did this make her blush? It normally didn't.

"I should have just let you read the instructions," she grumbled.

Emma felt the bed shift under her, then a kiss on her cheek. "I promise to behave from now on. But you're so adorable when flustered."

With that, she dropped the hand from her face. Next to her, Killian had pulled the instructions out of the box and began to read them, thankfully relieving her of the burden of explaining them to him.

While he studied the instructions, she studied his face. His hair, still messy despite his best efforts and flopping onto his forehead, the way his eyebrow was slightly raised, his long dark lashes and the blue of his eyes. As her visual exploration reached his mouth, she could only think of the way it had felt on her neck, scant minutes before. She looked down to _his_ neck and further down, where his shirt gaped slightly, the start of his collarbones visible, and felt the urge to return the favor. 

The heat returned to her face as she looked to the condom in her hand. Before, he'd stopped her because they hadn't talked about birth control, but now? If the condoms weren't expired – and a short look told her they weren't – they could get right on with it. If he wanted.

In her distraction, she didn't notice when Killian finished reading.

"So they protect against pregnancy and diseases, yes?"

She startled. "Erm, yeah. If people aren't in a relationship, they usually use those. Should always, anyway, for one-night kind of gigs, and anything where you don't know if the other person is clean."

A thought struck her and Emma fidgeted a bit, subtly as she thought, but apparently not subtly enough.

"What is it, Emma?" he asked her, incredibly gentle. His eyes matched the tone of his voice, soft and understanding as the searched hers.

_Pull yourself together, Swan._

"You know, I've never actually had sex without a condom before?"  she told him, forcing herself to sound casual.

That in itself wasn't a shocking confession, of course, but for her, it was a deeper admission. In principal, she wasn't against sex without condoms (provided the sex was safe without them), as they could be a bit of a hassle – but she simply hadn't ever been in a position to try it.

When she'd been young, there had been nothing else available to her; birth control pills and the like had been far too expensive for her, and you could usually grab some condoms for free at health centers.

After she'd gotten pregnant despite using them, she'd been kind of done with using them on their own. So she had avoided sex until she'd had enough money to get an implant similar to the one she had now.

But needless to say, there was no way around them. One-night-stands had been par for the course for her and if she'd been in a relationship, it had been so short-lived that she hadn't suggested forgoing them.

Of course, Killian didn't know about all of that, but he'd seemed to have drawn his own conclusions through the range of uses for condoms she'd given him, seeing as he gripped her hand in his, squeezing it reassuringly.

She took a deep breath, gathering her courage. "That doesn't mean I'd never want to."

She looked at him, trying to communicate through her eyes what she can't tell him with words. Not yet, anyway.

_You're the first person in a long time I want to be committed to. I trust you.  I want you._

Killian stroked the back of her hand softly, returning her intimate gaze. "Using them is all right with me, Emma. Whatever you want."

And she knew that he, too, meant more than what he'd actually said.

She laughed, but it came out weird, choked up as she was. "Wait until you've experienced it. It's usually a bit of a let-down for guys, having to use them."

"I can't imagine it feels that horrible, it's described as ultra-thin in the –" he started, but was interrupted.

"Listen, I do want to ditch them, but I..." she hesitated, not wanting to imply that he was laden with disease or something, but how would he know if he had something? No STD tests in the Enchanted Forest, right? If she did this, she wanted to do it right, without having to worry.

"I'd really like you to get tested before we do."

He raised an eyebrow. "For...?"

"STDs. Sexually transmitted diseases. It's got nothing to do with you, it's just, you can't always tell, you know?"

He nodded. "Sounds sensible," he agreed.

"We could even go together, if you want, because it's been a while since I went last and really, that would be the best, knowing we're _both_ completely cl– you're okay with that? Not offended?"

He smiled at her. "It's absolutely fine with me, love. I'd appreciate it, knowing for certain."

And really, wasn't that how she felt about the whole affair? She smiled at him, relieved.

"Good, I'll make an appointment then, and we'll go together," she promised, leaning forward to give him a peck on the lips. He licked them after, in a quick motion.

Staying in his space, she murmured, "And until then, I think there's a practical demonstration you're still missing."

His laugh was swallowed by her tongue in his mouth.

 

* * *

 

 

It wasn't that she thought it would make a huge difference to her. There was something to be said about convenience – condoms had to be bought and carried around – and she imagined it would be nice if they could stay cuddled up a bit after he'd come, not play a rousing round of 'Don't spill the condom'. Then, of course, there was the fact that it might not feel different for her, but it definitely did for him.

After the first time they'd had sex, when they'd both calmed down a bit, she'd asked him about it, if the difference was that big.

He'd hummed thoughtfully, carding his fingers through her hair.

 

(That was one thing she'd had get used to, at the beginning– kissing and cuddling and just general intimacy after sex.

The reason for that hadn't been the men she'd slept with; some of them had been nice guys, willing to let her stay the night, even hold her while they slept. But the offers, had they been for a second round in the morning, or for coffee and breakfast, had always been declined by her. It just would have been too much, to pretend that she wasn't alone in the world for a few hours, just to go back to her lonely, empty apartment, absent of any personal touch.

Now, it was normal for her to stay with him for a bit after sex. After cleaning up, they usually returned to bed to lie skin to skin, exchanging leisurely kisses and caresses.

They often landed up with Killian on his back; Emma stretched out on top of his chest, head propped up on her crossed arms to look at him. And more often than not, he started stroking her hair while Emma tried not to drift off. )

 

"Imagine touching yourself while wearing those gloves they use at the hospital," he'd offered as an approach.

"The touch would be similar, but you couldn't feel just how warm and wet you are." His knuckles stroked down her spine.

Emma moaned, dropping her forehead to his chest. "Don't say stuff like that. I have to leave to pick up Henry in a few minutes."

So yeah, she could get behind ditching the condoms for him alone, even without all the other reasons.

 

* * *

 

 

Facts on the table: Storybrooke was a hell-hole where nobody ever had a moment of peace, and least of all the savior.

She hadn't had time to kiss her boyfriend for more than a few minutes at a time the last few weeks, let alone sort out the mountain of mail that had started to collect dust in her bedroom. When she finally did, there was an envelope from the hospital.

Oh. She'd forgotten all about that.

Emma ripped it open  on the side and pulled the letter out. Like she'd expected (or hoped, at least), the test results were all negative.

The dark mood she'd been in lightened a bit. At least one piece of good news around here.

Then her gaze fell on the date in the letter. It was from three weeks ago. She and Killian had gone together to get tested, so they should have gotten the results at about the same time. She knew better than to think he wouldn't have opened his letter; he was much neater than her, wouldn't let his mail sit in the corner and unlike her he also wouldn't have to take the time to sort out the junk mail. So why hadn't he told her about it?

Biting her lip, Emma hoped it hadn't turned out he had, in fact, had something. Not because she would have found that repulsive or something, but just because it would be so awkward for him. Maybe he'd just decided to keep quiet while he took care of it; it wasn't like that would have been an unforgivable secret, they hadn't had sex since before that date.

It gave her a pang of regret, though, the thought of it. She'd hoped he'd feel comfortable to talk to her about things like these, no matter how uncomfortable to deal with.

Making a decision, she pulled on a jacket and hopped down the stairs, stuffing the letter in her pocket.

 

He was surprised when he opened the door. "What are you doing here, love? I thought we were all meeting tomorrow."

She leaned up to kiss his cheek in greeting. "Yeah, this isn't about that. I wanted to talk to you about something."

Killian raised his eyebrows. "That doesn't sound good."

Stepping through the door, she wrung her hands nervously. "Well, I don't know if it is?"

As he closed the door behind her, he threw her a look, clearly weirded out. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were pregnant," he joked, then froze when he saw her expression.

Emma forced a chuckle. "No, but it's kind of got to do something with it."

She sat down on his bed and pulled the letter out. "Why didn't you tell me when you got  your results?"

She tried her best to sound neutral. "It's fine if a test came back positive, you know, that's why we did this in the first place."

Visibly surprised, Killian sat down next to her, laying his hand on her thigh. "Emma, my results were all negative. I simply assumed you'd bring it up when you wanted to. You've been under so much stress lately, I didn't want to bother you about something so inconsequential. Especially if you may have changed your mind about the whole affair."

Emma felt like a boulder had been lifted from her chest. "Oh. _Oh._ Killian,  I just found the letter. I haven't looked through my mail in ages."

They shared a long, meaningful look. Emma suddenly felt very hot and very conscious of the fact that she'd put on a nice set of underwear that morning.

"Well then," Killian drawled finally.

"Want to swap?" he suggested, getting up towards the desk. He didn't get too far, as she'd sprung up and followed him, blocking his path.

"No need. I trust  you," she mouthed against his lips before she kissed him. It escalated quickly, as it often did with them, the soft touch of lips turning deep and sloppy as he pressed her against him.

Slinging her arms around his neck, the letter in her hand fluttered to the floor. She struggled not to break the kiss as she guided him towards the bed, until the back of his legs hit the edge. He let himself fall, still holding on to her.

She went willingly, moving to straddle his lap, and rocked her hips into his. He moaned into her mouth as his hand slid under her shirt to caress her back, a slight touch, barely there.

Meanwhile, Emma's hands started to unbutton his waistcoat and shirt, stroking his warm skin as soon as it became uncovered. When she reached the bottom, he broke the kiss to pull her sweater over her head. Eager, she tried to help and had to laugh when they made a real mess of it, their hands tangling in their haste, and the sweater got stuck over her head.

"Help please," she begged through the wall of wool. She couldn't see him but she heard his slight chuckle as he freed her from the garment. She flung it behind her, just to hear him laugh again, and when their lips met, they were both still grinning like idiots.

Emma slid his shirt and waistcoat off his shoulders and broke the kiss again to click the hook out of its brace so Killian could shake them off completely.

Dropping the hook on the bed, she started to undo the straps of the brace while Killian mouthed at her neck and collarbone. It was hard to concentrate; he sucked on her pulse point and grazed her with his teeth  and Emma half expected him to replace her fumbling hands with his, but he didn't.

A moment later it became clear to her why as her bra fell open at her back. She finished unbuckling a strap, then let go to take off her bra completely.

Killian stopped his exploration of her neck and expertly took the brace off instead, centuries of experience with it showing in his speed. He flung it aside and pulled her close and Emma hummed appreciatively when their fronts made contact.

It was always good, when they first took off their shirts. She loved the way the hair on his chest rubbed against her nipples, stiffened them in a few seconds. And it was just nice and intimate, so much of her naked skin pressed to his.

She cupped his cheek with one hand and stroked his back with the other and for a moment, they slowed down. He leaned his head into her touch and smiled at her; in the soft way that turned his eyes all crinkly.

God, it was unfair how he made her feel. Not like she had butterflies in her stomach, but more like someone had turned her entire insides into a warm, gooey mess. It would have been awful, if it hadn't been him.

She couldn't help herself; she leaned to kiss him again, but this time it was slower, more tender. Neither of them tried to slip in some tongue, satisfied with the gentle slide of her lips against his. And his lips were so soft; it was jarring next to the stubble around them. His hair was, too, as she slid her hands through it, pulling gently.

It would have been sweet, the way they were kissing like teenagers, if it hadn't been for the fact that it  still made Emma horny as fuck. So she did what her body wanted her to do; she thrust against his erection, trying to relieve the ache between her legs. Of course, that didn't do anything but make it worse.

They both groaned, and Killian slid his hand from her waist to her breast, cupping it, then circling the nipple with his thumb. Emma was panting, still rutting against him, her kisses growing sloppy again. It was good, so good, but it wasn't enough.

She slid her hands out of his hair, tracing a path over his shoulders to stroke his chest. When she scratched through his chest hair lightly, he sighed, breathing out loudly through his nose; when she pinched his nipple, he almost bucked her off his lap, swearing. Emma grinned against his lips.

Torturously slow she trailed her hands down his stomach, muscles jumping every time she grazed a sensitive spot. She followed the trail of hair to his belt and undid it, then the fly, but made no motion to reach inside his jeans. Instead, she pushed down the top of his underwear a tiny bit and traced the smooth skin over his hip bones.

Killian stopped kissing her and Emma couldn't suppress a whine as he bend down to her breasts, his scruff leaving a burning trail in its wake.

"Oh shit," she spit out as he tugged on her right nipple with his lips, imitating the motion with his thumb and index finger on the other one, and she pressed his head against her and ground her clit against him.

Then he stopped.

"Hey!" Emma protested, but he shook his head, eyes burning.

"Take your trousers off, love," he commanded, shoving her off of him determinately but with care.

Well. That wasn't a bad idea. Not at all.

She hasted backwards, straightened up and undid her jeans, then wiggled out of them and her panties, painfully aware of how wet she was when they clung to her, before she bent over to take off her socks.

When she looked back up, Killian was completely naked and slinging back the bed covers.

There was a moment in which she just stared at him, appreciative of his nice back and tight ass, but then he turned around and Emma, in a motion she could only describe as half a tackle, pinned him to the  bed.

"You almost kneed me in the crotch," he grumbled on his back, clearly reliving that one time in New York, but was busy returning her kisses the next second.

 _And that would have been a shame_ , Emma thought, as she slung a leg over his hip to straddle him, excitement swooping in her stomach. 

She had been wrong. It did feel different, at least this part. Usually, there was a bit of a slippery, cold sensation with a condom, but she only felt soft, warm skin as she rocked against him.

Killian's head fell back against the bed. "Fuck, Emma."

Through the fog that now seemed to permanently inhabit her brain, she panted out, "That's the plan."

Not her wittiest comeback, but she was undeniably distracted.

It felt wonderful, sliding over his cock again and again, and she concentrated on the sensation it caused, her clit throbbing almost painfully. Killian steadied her, hand and stump at her waist, and when he moaned on a particularly enthusiastic rock, she felt herself clench down on nothing, an empty ache spreading through her.

So she stopped her rhythm, moving up to balance on her knees instead, and reached for his dick.

She liked touching him, had spent one memorable afternoon just jerking him off slowly, and wasn't disappointed this time either. He moaned her name and she rewarded him with a few lazy strokes, eased by her wetness clinging to him. She circled the head with her thumb, enjoying the way he thrust his hips at the motion.  

Her own breath was going fast, her pulse thundering in her ears as she leaned back and guided the tip of him inside her.

It was enough to make her eyes roll back in her head; too much time had passed since they'd fucked last and the feeling of him inside her almost made her come, as turned on as she was. She sank down further only slowly, relishing the pleasant stretch of her around his cock.

Beneath her, Killian was wrecked, almost biting through his bottom lip, an arm slung over his eyes. When she was all the way down, she waited, giving them both time to adjust.

"I take back everything I said about being all right with condoms. They're the devil and I never want to see them again," he said, sounding completely serious, and Emma laughed.

It caused her to shift slightly, and the laugh abruptly morphed into a groan. Killian set hand and stump at her hips, urging her to move, so she did, and it felt so good she could feel herself tear up a bit.

As soon as she'd established a rhythm, Killian moved his fingers from her hip to the apex of her thighs and that was it, really. It took a minute of him circling her clit, maybe, before she was coming, fluttering around his cock. She clenched her eyes closed, seeing white lights despite it, and moaning loudly as the orgasm washed through her body.

She kept rocking slightly, trying to prolong it, but slowed down to a stop soon after, her thighs aching. Killian followed suit, fingers leaving her clit to rest on her back instead. Panting, she leaned forward to rest her hands on his shoulders and opened her eyes.

The grin on his face could only be described as smug and she wasn't surprised when he told her, "Why, Swan, I'm flattered. I think that's a new record time," and pinched her nipple.

In retaliation, she tightened around him. He closed his eyes, expression strained, and as she leisurely started to rock in his lap, Emma stroked a hand through his chest hair and told him, voice low, "You just turn me on so badly."

He moaned, _loudly_ , but when he tried to thrust up into her, Emma quickly held his hips down.

"Emma," he protested, ripping his eyes open.

"I think we can agree," she answered, pointedly thoughtful as she began her way up and down again, trying to hide a wince at her wobbly legs, "that that's not something to tease me about."

He nodded earnestly, closing his eyes again, and for some time there was only the wet sound of her sinking down on him again and again and Emma lost herself in the sensation, convinced she could come again before he did.

Then, Killian grabbed a pillow from over his head and laid it next to them, near his hips.

"What –" Emma started to ask, but that ended in a slight shriek when he rolled them over elegantly, her ass landing on the pillow.

The angle was great and Emma, with a whole new appreciation of down-stuffed rectangles, crossed her ankles at the small of his back, letting him sink in further. It felt perfect and when he leaned down to kiss her, she eagerly pulled him against her.

His strokes were slow and deep and as they kissed each other desperately and deeply, touching from head to toe, it dawned on Emma that this was probably what people meant when they said 'making love'. Not so long ago this would have sent her into panic mode; the way he cupped her jaw would have been too affectionate, her arms slung around his neck too clingy, but there was no panic. It felt right and natural and all the better for the fact that it was with someone she cared about, who cared about her in return.

Usually, she couldn't get off from fucking alone – depending on the position, Killian touched her or she did it herself, but they were pressed together too tightly for that and Emma found she wouldn't need it this time. With every rock against him, she could feel herself get closer, could feel it build up again insider her and wondered if the cause for that was her emotions running high or if she should invest in some pillows.

She only noticed how heavy her breathing was when Killian broke their kiss for a moment, resting his forehead against hers. He smiled at her like the dork he was and when she bent her head to the side and nipped his neck, he hummed in the back of his throat, eyes fluttering closed. In response, he twirled his fingers into her hair, tugging on it gently the way she liked.

He pushed a bit harder and Emma gasped against him, nails digging into his shoulders involuntarily. It wouldn't take long for her to come now and he seemed to sense it, thrusting into her at the same pace but harder. Every time she breathed out, it sounded suspiciously like a moan and Killian started kissing her again, in a wet slide of tongue.

She came long and hard, clutching her legs tighter around him as he fucked her through it, every single of her nerves feeling like it had been set on fire. She broke the kiss, incapable of anything that needed an ounce of concentration, and panted against him, pleasure rushing through her.

"Fuck," she heard him say when an aftershock of her orgasm made her twitch around him once more.

"Feel nice?" Emma mumbled against his neck as she felt something she strongly suspected to be her own wetness make its way down towards her ass.

When she couldn't hear her own heartbeat rushing in her ears anymore, she gave her best to help him come, too, rocking in tandem to his thrusts, sucking on his neck and caressing his back.

Soon, the movements of his hips became jerky and irregular and she felt him shudder slightly as he moaned her name.

He gave her a short kiss before his head sunk down, face burying into the crook of her neck. Most of his weight was on her, his forearms and knees not doing too much to keep it off her, but it felt nice, reassuring. She kept petting his back, not put off by his sweaty skin; her entire body felt sticky.

This was much more relaxing than hurrying to take the condom off, she reflected, as they basked in the  afterglow.

 

Eventually, though,  Killian asked the inevitable question.

"Am I crushing you?"

When she honestly answered, "No, it's fine –", he'd already lifted himself up, pulling out of her gingerly.

There was an unfamiliar rush of wetness out of her. It wasn't unpleasant, not at all, but she reflexively put her thighs together, trying to keep from leaking cum all over.

Killian went to the bathroom and came back after a minute with a wet washcloth, chuckling a bit at the way she laid there, knees pressed together.

"Laugh all you want, buddy, but this is your bed, did you plan on sleeping in your own jizz?"

He grinned at her, waggling his eyebrows. "I did not, that pillow had several uses."

Then he sat down on the bed and leaned over to kiss her enthusiastically.

"I'd almost forgotten how smiley you get after sex," she remarked, laughing a little when he just beamed back at her. She nodded towards the washcloth in his hand.

"Just spread your legs," he told her, gesturing towards them.

She fluttered her eyelashes at him, laying a hand on her chest.

"Why, that is incredibly forward of you, Captain," she reprimanded him coquettishly and he rolled his eyes fondly, still smiling.

Emma did as he'd asked, though, and he gently cleaned her up, running the wet cloth over the inside of her thighs and through her folds. After, he turned it inside out and threw it in the laundry basket in the corner.

Emma rolled a bit to the side to tug the pillow out from under her. It did have a bit of a wet spot and she tugged its pillowcase off, wadding it together before it followed the path of the washcloth. She dropped the naked pillow next to the bed and leaned forward to tug the covers back, then cuddled up to her boyfriend.

"I missed this," she confessed to him from her place on his chest as he detangled her long locks with his fingers.

"I did as well," he replied, turning his head to kiss her temple. "Can you stay?"

She considered the fact that she had not brought fresh clothes, a phone charger or her tooth brush. But then, Killian had a phone and he'd be the first suspect if she wasn't found at the loft; she didn't mind using his toothbrush and about her clothes, well.

"You don't happen to have washed that pair of panties I forgot here, do you?"

"They're in my underwear drawer, squeaky-clean."

Jeans and sweaters were perfectly wearable picked off the floor.

 

* * *

 

It turned out to be a good thing they'd made the switch when they did; condoms weren't exactly freely available in Camelot.

 

* * *

 

 

She'd made the appointment weeks ago and the closer it got, the more antsy she felt, and she wondered what was wrong with her – she'd gotten the implant changed twice before and it hadn't been a big deal.

Until one afternoon, she came to meet Killian at the library, where he'd gone to spent time with Belle, and saw him in the back, surrounded by a bunch of toddlers, her little brother, Alexandra and Gideon among them. His back was turned to her.

"What's going on here?" Emma asked Belle who was manning the check-out.

"Oh, that's a weekly story time I started. The kids seem to like it and the parents get two hours to themselves," Belle explained to her enthusiastically.

"Yeah, no, I suspected that. I meant, why is Killian...?"

Belle smiled. "He volunteered – I'm behind at shelving. Turns out he's good at doing funny voices," she told her, watching the group fondly.

Emma turned to look at her husband, sitting cross-legged on the floor of the Storybrooke library, leather jacket discarded next to him. One little girl, not older than two, toddled over to him and crawled in his lap, pointing at something on the page.

Something deep inside Emma twisted at the sight of it.

She watched him finish the story, then throw a look at the clock on the wall. She couldn't make out what he said exactly, but it started a commotion. The older children like Alexandra clumsily started to put on their jackets and stuff scattered snacks and books in their little bags, the small ones, starting with the girl on his lap, were helped by Killian.

Emma hadn't noticed, but a crowd of people had come in while she'd stood there, entranced. The children who saw their parents (presumably) started running towards them, and Killian, helping the last little boy put his jacket on, followed them with eyes until his gaze met hers.

He smiled brightly, making his way towards her, but stopped when he saw her face.

"Are you okay, Emma?"

She made a dismissive gesture with her hand. "Can we talk about it at home?"

Killian agreed, despite looking blatantly concerned. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it, then bend to kiss her cheek.

 

Their way home was silent. Emma wasn't ready to talk and Killian was sensitive to her feelings; even when they entered their house, they remained quiet. They stripped off their jackets and toed off their boots and when Killian asked, "Couch?", it sounded loud despite the soft way he'd said it.

Emma nodded and they sat down facing each other; both folding one leg underneath them, the other sitting on the floor.

There was a pause, as Killian waited patiently while Emma decided how to start.

"I've been kind of feeling off for a few weeks."

"I've noticed," he acknowledged when she didn't say anything else.

"You have?"

"Emma."

"Right. It started when I made the appointment to change my implant," she explained, pointing to the inside of her arm. "I've gotten it changed before and it's nothing really. A little cut, a bit of a sting."

Killian looked confused. "So what's wrong, love? Do you want to use something else?"

"I've been wondering that, too. The procedure was fine with me, the appointment was made, but I felt sick just thinking about it."

He laid his hand on her thigh and its warmth immediately started seeping through her jeans. Killian was always warm, she'd found. It was fantastic in winter when she had her personal space heater and it could be annoying in summer, when he wanted to touch her and she was already drowning in sweat.

It was nice to know these things – Killian exuded warmth like an open fire, drank coffee black, liked doing laundry and hated vacuuming, loved chocolate and 80's music, but despised Pop-Tarts.

She knew him like she knew nobody else, not even Henry, now that he'd entered the realm of almost grown-up.

"Emma?"

"I think the problem was that I don't want a new one."

Killian opened his mouth and she knew what he was going to ask – what did she want to use instead? But she didn't wait for it, just continued her explanation.

"I'm absolutely fine with the thought of taking the implant out. I just didn't want a new one put in. And I don't want to use condoms, either, or take birth control or anything. For weeks, I've been trying to think why I was so apprehensive about the appointment and I couldn't figure it out."

She could see it was dawning on him now. He was perceptive and as well as she knew him, he knew her.

"When I walked into the library and saw you sitting there with these kids –" There was an ache in her chest and a burn in her eyes. "It just slapped me in the face."

Emma could see in his eyes that he knew where she was going with this, could see the hope in them. She slid her hand over his, stroking his skin. It didn't matter he'd figured it out. She wanted to say it and he deserved to hear it.

"I want to have a baby with you," she whispered, watching his reaction.

She didn't have much to watch – he kissed her so hard so fast it would have knocked her off the sofa if he hadn't held on to her – but she was indifferent to it, kissed him back instead with all she had.

When they stopped kissing, seconds, minutes or hours later, she didn't pull away from him but leaned her forehead against his.

"I love you," he told her, eyes watery.

"That's a no on the birth control, then?" she quipped through her own tears of joy.

He laughed, kissing her again, then said, "I would love to have a baby with you."

She hugged him, showering his cheek with kisses. "I love you, too. So much."

 

* * *

 

A few months later, she went to the gynecologist's again – but it wasn't for birth control.


End file.
